Artistic Intention.... and on Being Aware

I am blessed with friends who challenge my thinking, and make me strive for better. One of the areas I am always challenged is in giving some voice to what I'm feeling when I do what I do. A lot of the time, I'm "going through the motions" to a certain degree. Photography is part of my existence, and so I live, I breath, I shoot, I go through my day.... Often though I have this thought that I need to do more to express myself. Photos are supposed to tell a story. Art should elicit some emotional response. Am I doing enough to do that?

"don't you let that yearning pass you by" © Marjorie McDonald

When I saw the geese flying overhead, and heard their calls to one another, I felt a longing to go with them. These simple creatures will travel further in their life time than I ever will. James Taylor's lyrics "and don't you let that yearning pass you by" came immediately to mind. The walking man walks.

That's the feeling I put in this piece. The processes and textures I used to give a nostalgic feeling were intentional. I felt the pull those geese felt. The yearning to go...

 

Unedited photo... the beginning of "don't you let that yearning pass you by"

The process is my expression of what I'm feeling. There may or may not intentionally be any artistic rules being used (or broken). I only know that in that moment, what I felt when I heard the call of those geese and took the shot you see above, I felt what you see in my finished piece, even if I didn't visualize it in my mind in that moment.

Should I do more to put this expression into words? Part of me thinks if I have to, then maybe I'm not putting enough in my images. And then there is part of me that senses the value of delving deeper, and struggling to put the emotions into words. That maybe this struggle will make its way into my images as well.

What happens next

I sat at that intersection for a long time (sorry for continuing the crossroads analogy). Now my direction has been chosen, and but for a few details (like actually signing on Smugmug's dotted line) I'm on this new path. And I'm finding that already, without doing anything except choosing the direction, things are already happening.

I'm astounded, frankly. I don't necessarily buy into the new aged mumbo jumbo about positive thoughts leading to positive outcomes... I've had a lifetime of being positive and getting no where. That said, something is happening, and besides my intention shifting, I haven't really done anything concrete to make anything happen.

A long time ago, I made a commitment to myself. I would not say no to a new photographic opportunity. That commitment made me do things that I normally would have said no to. Portraits, for one. I am slowly growing into a love for this. Its still early, and I still get jitters, but every time I do someone's portrait, I learn something new. Photographically, and personally. I can talk to people, when I didn't think I could. I can deal with challenges, and come up with on-the-fly solutions. 

So here's a first. Today someone contact me. Cold. I don't know them, she saw my work for another family, and wants similar photos for her own family. (Can I just say how incredibly amazing that is?) I don't advertise as a portrait or family photographer. I don't advertise, period. Of course, in line with my commitment to myself, and this direction I've chosen, I will do this session and any others that come to me. And here's another first. I'm excited about the prospect. It never occurred to me to second guess it, like I normally do. 

The journey begins... I'm excited in a way I haven't felt before. Let's go!

Crossroads

Crossroads

I've been shooting a long time, and for the most part, I have shot to please myself. Its been about creating and getting better, and driving myself to learn new things. I feel like I have accomplished that, and in the process, I've met some wonderful people, made great connections, and (hopefully) become a better person. If that's all I ever do with this, it would be enough. I never want to lose the passion I feel for photography. That said, I've come to a sort of cross roads. Well, I've been here a while in fact. Sitting at the intersection, watching traffic, trying to decide which direction to go, and trying to muster the courage to move.

I've spent the last few days on a trial version of smugmug, tinkering with the layout, uploading photos, and in general, getting accustomed to the idea of hanging out my virtual shingle.


Blogging will be (hopefully) a part of this new direction. I'm not driven to write, so I will have to push myself. I won't make any promises beyond that. 

I've chosen the direction. I'm just going have to see where it takes me.